The End, Part One.

Hey all -

Today was my last day of classes. :(/:) It was super surreal. In fact, the whole week was surreal. It honestly felt like every other week except for the despedidas (good-bye parties) that kept cropping up (Monday [sort of], Wednesday, Thursday, and today). I'm trying to block it all out (because the one time I didn't, I ended up bawling in front of an entire school), but I can tell you this: I'm going to miss them all tremendously.

When I was in Spain and getting ready to leave, I didn't think I was going to be able to leave my host mom. Since then, I've thought about her often, but not as often as I should've; I used to write/call, but that stopped about six months ago (nothing bad, we just got on different time schedules). This whole experience is different. I feel like me leaving is literally taking a chunk out of me. I have to leave my family, my students, my friends... Everyone I've met here. It doesn't feel like before, though. I feel like I belong (which is funny, because I've been told that I'm Chilean [despite being "rubia"] more times than not) not just with my schools and family, but with the people. With where I live. Over these four months, these people have all become my family. This has become home.

With that said, I suppose I should do what I've always done and start at the start (or begin at the beginning, if you're big into the beginning of the alphabet like I am). (Side note: if you notice a change of tone here, it's because the whole sad thing is getting to me [i.e. the screen has become blurry because I have--er--something in my eyes]. Perhaps further down the line we'll get back to the original train of thought. Maybe.)

On Monday, we had English Day. Bonnie and I (along with a sweet teacher named Miriam) were the judges. It started with 5th graders doing a spelling bee, followed by 6th graders doing tongue twisters; 7th - 12th graders sang songs and danced. Three of my fifth graders placed (2nd, 4th, and 5th!) and both of my tongue twister kids (one of whom was a 5th grader) did AWESOME. :) One of my schools (which only has up to 5th grade right now), entered dancers and, out of the 10 groups that danced, they got third!!!! I was insanely proud of them!! :D Bonnie was excited, too, as she had choreographed the entire thing. :)
The only other highlight of the day was that I got to see two of my favorite performances from the San Fran talent show again (the two boys who played/sang "Vermillion Pt. 2" and the kids who punked out "Hotel California/E.O."). The rest of the day left quite a bit to be desired (read that: MISS SARA WOULDN'T KNOW ORGANIZATION IF IT HIT HER REPEATEDLY IN THE FACE), but I did steal myself some good cookies, which made it tolerable.

Tuesday went by, for the most part, without a hitch. I was supposed to teach a lesson, but Bonnie and I were having money issues, so I spent most of the morning/afternoon trying to figure out how to get to and from a town six hours away and not miss anything important here. (We ended up getting our money transferred to a place 30 minutes away, which worked much better [obviously].)

Wednesday I went to Tahuinco (the chicken school) and was treated to an amazing breakfast. The principle had told the kids the day before that classes were starting an hour late so that they could feed me breakfast. I wasn't disappointed. :D I got fresh bread, fresh goat cheese (amaaaaaaaazzzziinnnggggg), yummy drinks, and some free vino dulce (a specialty drink from that town). Other than the kids all mobbing me before I left, though, the rest of the day in Tahuinco was uneventful (as every other week with that teacher has been since I got here).

That afternoon, I headed to Cumbres to teach the 4th graders. That's where it all started to go downhill. The ADD kid that I've been helping since the beginning of September begged me (with tears in his eyes) not to go. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Ugh. As if working with little kids wasn't difficult/heartbreaking enough, he had to go and cry all over me. It took everything I had not to cry in return as I promised that I would be back to visit next year.
"But Miss," he said. "How will I pass my tests? How will I pay attention in class if you're not here?"
*cue the child sawing into my heart with a rusty spoon*
How do you respond to that? How do you tell a kid who gets no support (both because his parents are ashamed and because they don't want him to be seen as "favored") that he'll be alright? How do you tell him that he's got it all in him, he just has to see it? UGH.
All I remember is telling him that, as long as he asked the Miss, he'd be just fine. After that, it was picture time (oh how I adore 4th graders and their willingness to make the goofiest faces ever). I told Joss that I would walk home because I hadn't really done anything all day (which was the truth/a good excuse for her not to see me cry).

Finally, onces rolled around. Maria Jose (my Chilean mom/accomplice) tells me that I have to go to Cumbres with her in the morning. *insert confused face here* When I ask why, she tells me to shut up and eat my onces because they're getting cold. I suspected that they had set something up for me, but I didn't think it would be as epic? as it was.

Thursday morning. Even if I hadn't wanted to get up at 7:AM, the continued screams of "MAITE! APURATE!" would've made it impossible to sleep. After we got through the dog drama (Stupid freakin' basset hounds. Don't ever get them. They're dumber than a box of rocks.), we headed to the school. Everything seemed ordinary. The teachers were milling around, the kids were screaming and running. Nothing suspicious. Then the principle hauled out the microphone stuff. And the kids started lining up like they do for actos. Great, I thought. But maybe it'll just be something small, like Thank you, Miss Kari, we love you! and then I'll get to leave. Just when I think it's going to get awful, the principal starts to talk about raising money for the Teleton and recycling and a ton of other crap. Sweet, I think happily. I won't have to deal with anything! Wrong. In walks Joss and I can tell from the way she looks at me that I'm going to cry. Skank.

She gets me up on stage and we both start bawling and not just tears-rolling-down-our-faces; I mean snot-coming-out-of-our-noses-and-tears-all-over-our-glasses bawling. She finally says something about how much I've helped her and the school and how much of a difference I've made and I hear a "MISS!" from behind. Out walks Vicente (the most adorable four year old on the planet) holding a bouquet of roses that's bigger than he is. A bouquet of roses bigger than a four year old. It's so big that he can't see his feet and the principal has to help him onto the stage. *cue Cara crying like an idiot for the next five minutes*
Once we've both calmed down--sort of--Joss asks me to say something. Are you freakin' kidding me?! You've just told me that I'm like your sister, that you don't know what life will be like when I'm not here, given me a bouquet of roses bigger than a four year old, and now you want me to talk?! How could I say no?
I tried to get something out in Spanish--Fail. I tried in English. Double fail. The only thing I remember telling them (aside from the fact that I wasn't so scared of little kids anymore) was that they made me a very, very happy teacher. Which they did. After crying for another good chunk of time, they showed me the "Love Clap," which made me cry yet again. Then the principal comes back and says, "And with that, we bid you a very fond 'bye-bye'," to which all the kids reply, "Bye-bye, Miss!" and start waving. Seriously?! Hatred.
So, as they've just told me "bye-bye," I get ready to leave. As I turn around, I hear someone yell "FILA! FILA!", which tells me that they're lining up. For the next 25 minutes, I gave all 140-some students, teachers, and staff hugs. My arms were tired and my heart ached. Literally ached. Ugh.
The rest of the day was pretty normal. I worked with Joss how I normally do in the 5th and 6th grade classes (who, despite knowing it was my last day, acted how they normally do. :) ). When I finally got home, I was exhausted. One more day, I remember thinking to myself. It can't possibly get harder. Idiot.

This morning rolls around. I wake up to another chorus of "MAITE! HUEVONA! APURATE!" and by 7:30 I'm out the door. As I'm walking to school just like I have every Friday for the past three and a half months, it hits me that this is the very last time I'll be walking this route at this time of day for this reason. And I stop walking. Where in the name of sanity has all of my time gone? My four months? My third of a year? WHERE DID IT GO? I WANTS IT BACK! I haven't gotten nearly all of I wanted to out of it! Where is all of my teaching experience? My improved Spanish? My awesome, fun, totally incredible, mind-blowing, Earth-shattering adventures?! Stupid time. And then I keep walking.

Eighth grade went fine. They worked on posters and were... well, the eighth graders. They annoy me and make me laugh and do everything that they're supposed to do. :) Then we had to drag ourselves to the seventh grade room. It's a torture chamber, I swear. The first 45 minutes we spent trying to get them extra points so they wouldn't all fail their tests. After the break, Joss said she had to go down and help the principal. For the most part, the kids all behaved (much to my surprise). I went out to look for her, but to no avail. I chalked it up to the principal being pretty much useless. Then, at about 12:30, she comes back in and says that we're all going to the multi-purpose room to do an activity. Sweet! We get to play a game! I thought happily. When we get to the door, Joss tries to open it, can't, and asks me to. I open it to screams of "SOPRESA!!!!!!" from all of the students from 5th-8th grade. Not only was I literally scared, but I honestly couldn't believe 1) that they had managed to pull this all off; 2) that Joss had been lying to me all morning (which made me laugh; she understood/understands how gullible I am); and 3) that they all were that into me. There were decorations everywhere. They had hidden my presents (a hand-made notebook, a pretty glass box, and a stone jar thing) in a huge cardboard heart. They had not one but two NOT SEXY dances planned. This time both Joss and I kept the tears at bay (for the most part). I was able to tell them how they made me more confident as a teacher and how they helped me understand that not all little kids are scary. :) By the time we get out of there, it's about 1:50 and I know that I have to be home at 2:PM (for something. Maria Jose didn't tell me what, but she stressed how important it was that I be home).
We get to my house and Joss asks to come in to go to the bathroom. Of course I let her in. And what do I walk into but another surprise going away party. This one was complete with an asado (Chilean BBQ). Yummo. :) I got to eat a ton of tomatoes, too; everyone found out that I have an addiction to them. :) My present (I know, it sounds like I'm expecting them by now, but honestly? I'm so astonished by it all that the novelty has worn off, if that makes sense) was a silver and lapis lazuli necklace. (If you don't know what lapis lazuli is, check it out here.) After going to the Teacher's Net meeting (POINTLESS), Joss and I came back and sat round and talked for awhile. She left, I took a shower, packed, and now I'm here.

If ya'll think that was a ride, wait until next Thursday, when I fill you in on leaving Salamanca, the end of the EOD program, and finding my way back home.

Until then, LOVES TO YOU ALL!
Cb.